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Having a boyfriend is outdated. Women are busy, and men don’t add as much as they used to. A lot of young women in college today are determined to build successful careers, and that ambition doesn’t always leave room for a committed relationship.
I much prefer being friends with guys rather than getting involved in anything else. It’s simply easier and saves me from awkward stages like the “what are we?” phase. In a friendship, there’s less pressure and fewer expectations than in a relationship. Sometimes, I just want to be alone without having to explain myself or talk about my feelings.
In a survey I conducted, 22 out of 30 female college students said that they don’t have a boyfriend. Fifteen out of the 22 single students want it to stay that way.
If you want to do it right, being in a relationship requires a lot of effort, looking after your partner, checking in to see if they are feeling okay, trying to solve small conflicts or talking about concerns costs time.
I know many of us have had the opportunity to get into a relationship many times in the past and decided to say no, not always because of the partner itself but rather because of the idea of giving up peace and freedom.
Anna Fett, a first year Liberal Arts major at Mercer, says “The only advice my grandma always gave me was to make sure I marry a good man. Growing up, I realize there is, like, way more to my future than that.”
Women used to rely on men for financial survival because they weren’t allowed to build careers or have their own money, because the system wouldn’t let them. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, it took the US until 1974 to allow women to open their own credit card without needing a male co-signer.
The recent “tradwife” movement that has been emerging on social media idealizes traditional male-female relationships. While that might be the right lifestyle for a certain type of woman, the real and bigger trend we are seeing right now is that women are becoming more and more independent. Being single is in.
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, female students are dominating higher education, making up 61 percent of total post-baccalaureate enrollment in the fall of 2021. Pursuing a degree is a commitment that needs a lot of attention.
In my survey of 30 female college students, 83 percent said romantic relationships are not going to be the most important thing in their 20s and 30s. They plan to focus on their studies, friendships and career.
Marriage and having children, which were once the ultimate goals are now being less romanticized and seen for all the work they really are: equivalent to a full-time job.
Men still have great valuable qualities, many are supportive, emotionally mature, and genuinely care about their partners, but seeing how quickly women are progressing and gaining influence in society, I wonder if men can keep up.
According to the BBC web experiment ‘Sex ID,’ intelligence is one of the most desired traits that women have for men. So if men want women to want them again, they are going to have to step it up. In the meantime, we are busy. A boyfriend would just be in the way.
